What do teens and young adult women need the most?

written by: Floriana Brindle

Our fallen world and sinful culture are constantly bombarding our daughters with false missions and empty purposes, all centered on serving themselves. Will we allow the enemy’s message to guide our daughters or point them to what God says they need? Thankfully, in Christ, and through the means of grace that He has given in His church, our gracious Heavenly Father has provided everything our daughters need to flourish as His fruit-bearing daughters: “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3). There are several things to highlight, but we would be remiss if we did not begin with their greatest need:

Union with Christ

As mentioned above, our daughter’s greatest need is Christ Himself. When the Holy Spirit gives our girls the gift of faith, He unites them to Jesus so that every blessing of salvation which Christ accomplished in His life, death, and resurrection, is theirs through their union with Him (Eph 1:3)! In Christ they have the blessing of repentance, to turn from wickedness and receive the forgiveness of sins and a changed life (Acts 3:26). Christ is their righteousness, holiness, and redemption (1 Cor. 1:30). In Him they have been made complete (Col. 2:10). And the best part of union with Christ is that they get Christ Himself as their treasure and Lord and lover of their souls. They have been “called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord” (1 Cor. 1:9). Friends may fail them, and this world will disappoint them. Various hopes, longings, or dreams might get shattered. But Christ is their “sure and steadfast anchor of the soul” (Heb. 6:19).

Their father

As those created in the image of God the Father, earthly fathers are crucial to the well-being of our girls. Fatherhood brings security, stability, and confidence as our girls grow into womanhood. Let us allow plenty of “daddy and daughter” moments. May we model respect and honor to their father in front of them, both in public and in private, and encourage his leadership by allowing him to lead the home. We live in a culture that tempts our girls to despise the leadership of men, and to disdain the God-given calling of fathers to lead the home. Although some men have at times ruled sinfully as abusive tyrants, this does not negate the fact that God created the first husband to rule in God’s likeness (Gen. 1:26). In fact, the word “patriarch” means “father-rule.” God called the patriarchs, such as Abraham, “to command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice, so that the LORD may bring to Abraham what he has promised him” (Gen. 18:19). Us mothers are to help our daughters see that their father is the patriarch of our household who has been given the task of leading the home to Christ each day. As their dads walk according to Scripture, they present the God-given vision of manhood to our girls as a blueprint of what they are to desire for a husband. Biblical parenting therefore prepares our young ladies for the glorious calling of becoming a wife and mother, if it is God’s will to provide them with a husband. Ultimately, our daughters’ human father is meant to point beyond themselves to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!

Purpose

Scripture provides young women with God’s purpose in life. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 sums it up beautifully: “The end of the matter: all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.” Notice that the command is first to “fear God,” which has to do with utter amazement and awe at His greatness and goodness. The fear of the LORD is equated with hoping in His steadfast love (Ps. 33:18). Fearing God also has to do with a joyful trembling and reverent respect for His holiness that overflows in obedience. Ladies, such is God’s call for our girls’ ultimate fulfillment and meaning in life, namely, total self-abandonment! In Christ, through His Word and Spirit, they have everything they need to grow in their God-given purpose. Every gift or duty that the Lord gives to our girls should be seen as a grace-gift. She is to use it to serve others for the glory of God. It is good to continually ask our girls from time to time, “what is the purpose of what you are doing, and who is it benefitting from it?”

Godly Discipline

To be productive, our daughters need to form healthy daily habits. Therefore, we must teach them how to set their minds on Christ each day by first seeking Christ and His Word in their personal devotions and private prayer. Doing so enables them to daily submit their time and duties before the Lord, asking him to bless the work of their hands. They also submit their tongues to Jesus (“Lord, keep me from slander, complaining, and back talk.” See Psalm 39:1). May they give their minds and bodies over to Him through modest dress and a healthy diet.

“Take my life and let it be, Consecrated Lord to Thee!”

Productivity

Idleness is a dangerous companion for a young girl. The enemy uses it to whisper discontentment, bitterness, resentment, pride, and unbelief. Idleness questions God’s good design and offers counterfeit pleasures that ultimately ruin the soul and mind. It robs us of time and opportunity. To combat idleness, let us train our daughters to complete their studies with whole-hearted excellence, and to use their minds wisely by reading literature that helps them to think upon that which “is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy” (Philippians 4:8). In addition to their education, we should encourage them to be productive with things such as gardening, knitting, sewing, crocheting, embroidery, painting, drawing, calligraphy, and letter writing. In other words, they must learn skills that are enjoyable, beautiful, and a blessing to others. As a result, when boredom hits, they will have things they can do to keep busy. We want our girls to be producers and not merely consumers.

Our Wise Advising

As our girls mature and grow, our roles will mostly be that of an advisor. As our daughters trust and respect us, they will feel emboldened to come to us with many questions and scenarios for us to give them wisdom and a listening ear. As we give them counsel, may we not be afraid to let them grow up and figure things out on their own, even if that means going through hard situations. Help them understand that with freedom comes responsibility. If they are living under your roof, remind them that they are under the protection and headship of their father who loves them and cares for them, and that trust is given to them with the understanding that they will honor their parents while living wisely, virtuously, and with discernment. But mothers, we will soon learn that we are unable to shepherd our daughters on our own, which is why Jesus has given them pastors, elders, fathers, and other godly women and girls in his church! That brings us to the next thing.

Covenant Community in the Local Church

Our girls are as much a part of the covenant community as any other member. The older generation will be encouraged when they see the younger generation use their gifts to be a blessing to both young and old in the church. It is a joy for older members and single saints to remember that God’s blessing is on the next generation. Since Christ’s Church is the household of God, older women are “mothers” in the faith (1 Tim. 5:2). Having our girls participate in multi-generational fellowship allows young ladies and singles to observe the faith and character of saints who have walked with the Lord for many years. It gives them something to look forward to and it trains them how to conduct themselves as God’s pilgrims on earth. Some ways to allow this to happen is when girls help the women set-up or clean during potlucks or picnics, helping moms with fussy babies, becoming helpers for moms who need a little help in the home, teaching or aiding in Sunday school, or cooking a meal/dessert for the church.

Godly Friendships

Along with mentorship from their mothers and other godly women in the church, our daughters need godly friendships with other girls so that they “may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith” (Rom. 1:12). Along with companionship, friends can provide accountability “to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Heb. 10:24-25). Let us then facilitate these friendships through our home groups and family fellowships with other Church members, as we pray for our Heavenly Father to provide our daughters with friendships that will bring maturity and virtues in our girls.

Our Prayers

Lastly, our daughters are in desperate need of our fervent intercession. Sometimes they need us to encourage them or to speak difficult truths, but other times God merely calls us to cry out to Him on their behalf, believing that He who began a good work in them will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus (Phil. 1:9). So let us pray with and for them often, praying confidently that God will conform them to the image of Christ as He promised (Rom. 8:29).